Miracle Myx Leaves 2007

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"You've being clever," Myx said.

"Hmmm?" I answered eloquently.

"You think you're being clever with your headline."

"And you have a different opinion, I guess," I said. Myx loved cleverness--but mostly when he thought he was the source.

"I just think we could have ended the year with more of a bang ... some zip ... a little--"

"I get it, Myx. But, you have to admit the leaves thing is amusing."

"I don't have to admit anything, except it was a stretch."

Again we were at the Natick collections (on the second floor). There was a stand of white birch rsing from the first floor and these leaves hung and twirled in slow hypnotic revolutions with the air currents. I thought Myx looked good there in front of them.

"Hold still while I take this pic," I said. (heh! heh!)

"Leave me alone. See, now that's clever!"

Miracle Myx

Dave's Myspace

Miracle Myx Has Balls

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"I think I'd better clarify my title here," I said.

"It works either way,"Myx said.

"So you don't think I should add that it's gumballs I'm talking about?"

"Don't you agree you took a lot of chances in the book and that there are some surprises, and maybe even a shock or two that are a gamble? Wouldn't that be considered balls?"

Myx was referring to a couple of turns that define him as a new type of hero. There's also ... the very ending ....

"The only chances I was concerned with was taking this pic of you. Although, those people in the background didn't seem to notice because the display covered us," I said.

"You didn't see the looks you got behind you."

I was starting to get used to the attention I got while carrying Myx under my arm in public wherever I went, balancing him somewhere, whipping out my trusty Canon SD1000--and clicking away!

"I'm sure they understood," I said.

Myx was quick to add, "They were being polite, Dave."

Miracle Myx

Dave's Myspace

Miracle Myx Gets Trashy

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"Don't you think this is beneath my dignity?"

"You have dignity?" Whenever you can answer a question with a question, you're probably a little bit ahead with Myx.

"Dave, how do you make your decisions about these pics, anyway? I mean--a trash container?"

"I try to choose something that will be amusing and different," I said. I wasn't going to let on that any level surface that would let me stand MIRACLE MYX up was in contention for my next shot.

"Don't you think people might subliminally think that I'm trash?"

Myx was just full of questions today. But did he have a point? Could there be some unspoken connection that a viewer could make? Although I intentionally put some "trashy" parts into the book for spice, I certainly didn't want that kind of association to be made. I'd better let Myx know that I thought it over and valued his opinion.

"Don't be stupid; nobody's going to think that," I said just before a woman pushed a Snickers candy wrapper through the spring-loaded lid opening.

Miracle Myx

Miracle Myx Tough Sledding

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"You're in for a fun ride, Myx! How do you like the sled I got you for Christmas?"

"It's a tray, Dave--a tray."

"It's going to work fine on that hill." It had taken some effort to get the tray ... I mean sled to stay on that slippery slope with MIRACLE MYX balanced atop it. I was still happy about the outcome and Myx wasn't about to spoil it for me.

"And it's got a busted edge. What happened? Some animal gnaw on it?"

"Just concentrate on not moving (that shouldn't be hard for a book, should it?) while I snap a couple of pics there." I was hoping a stiff wind didn't gust up.

I got several different angles, and thought this showed Myx's agility best. I had hoped that no one would stroll by while I was taking this rather odd shot, but my hopes were dashed when a couple walking a dog stopped to observe for a moment. I didn't look at them directly, and they didn't ask any questions.

"A tray, Dave--I'm on a tray!"

Miracle Myx

Miracle Myx Ho!

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"He's covering my name," Myx said.

"Hmmm?"

"Santa has his left index finger over my name. How are our viewers supposed to know it's me there?"

"Maybe by the name of the blog and the banner at the top of the web page," I said.

"Still, it would have been nice to get my whole cover."

"You don't see me complaining about ... hey, Santa's covering up my name at the bottom of the book," I said. "And--I don't have my name anywhere on this blog. Diotalevi ... Diotalevi ... Diotalevi. There!"

"And you call me immature," Myx said.

"Your point being ...? Still it was good of Santa to endorse MIRACLE MYX."

"Yeah, if he likes it, everybody should." Myx tried to sound convincing.

"Think anyone believes that?"

"A boy can hope." Myx grinned that grin.

Santa's Favorite Book!

Miracle Myx Is Grinched

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"You two are just alike," I said.

"Green?" Myx asked just to get me to expound.

I found the Grinch outside of Stella Dieci--waving and beckoning passersby out of the frigid cold into the warmth of the luxurious spa. He grabbed my book and did a strange, rhythmic dance with it.

"I don't think I've seen you wearing green yet. You tend to wear mostly the same colors."

"Wearing the same colors saves me time," Myx explained.

"Since you never sleep, isn't time one of the things you don't have to worry about?"

Myx Amens, since a certain incident explained in MIRACLE MYX, hasn't slept in over three years. He fills his hours with many interesting, and some would judge, rather questionable activities.

"Let's say it gives me more time for other things," Myx said. Was that a smile?

"Those other things were what I was talking about. The Grinch sneaked into the Whos' houses and took stuff."

"Hmmm. Maybe we are alike in some ways."

Miracle Myx

Miracle Myx Merry Christmas!

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"Myx, I think there's only one thing that we have to say today."

"I'm kind of like Santa, because I visit people's homes when they're not looking and I definitely know who's been naughty or nice," Myx said.

"Myx, we rehearsed this and you promised to cooperate." I should have known better.

"Okay, Dave--together on three: one, two, THREE--"

"MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!"

Miracle Myx

Miracle Myx is Gifted!

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"What if someone walked away with me?"

"Myx, I was right there; everyone saw I had a camera and was taking a photo." Several people had stopped and were watching me put my lone book under this huge Christmas tree.

"I won't be under many trees this year," Myx said.

"That's because Kunati Books isn't going to publish you until the spring."

"What do we do until then?"

I wondered where Myx was going here, but decided to just give a straight answer: "We do what we're doing--try to show you off in an entertaining way. The more people get to know you and your personality, the more comfortable they'll be that you are actually a good read."

"And when they see me in a book store...?"

"They'll look around for me and my camera!"

In a barely audible voice, Myx said, "Gee--I hope I'm good enough so lots of people put me under their trees next year."

"Why, Myx ... are you showing me your tender, thoughtful side ... or it it false modesty?"

"False modesty."

"Thought so."

Miracle Myx

Miracle Myx Meets Father Christmas--Twice!

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"That's not Dumbledore, right?"

Myx sounded a little concerned.

"Which one?" I liked to play along and give him some of his own medicine once in a while.

"The one in white. I know the one in red is Santa."

"The one in white is also Father Christmas. It's a little double-teaming going on here," I said.

"What did you tell me the difference was between a threesome and double-teaming?"

"Errr ... that wasn't me who told you anything about that. And besides, this is Christmas time and we should raise our thoughts to loftier levels. Think about the spirit of giving and peace."

"So, what are you giving me for Christmas?" Myx sounded a bit more interested.

"Myx, I've already given you life by writing MIRACLE MYX. When people start to read you, you will breathe and be and feel all across the world!"

"You're not getting me anything for Christmas--not even a bookmark, right?" Myx knew me too well.

"Right, but it sounded good for a minute, didn't it?"

"You're sure that's not Dumbledore?"

Miracle Myx

Miracle Myx Is Driven

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"Of course you've got me on yet another precarious perch." Myx used alliteration when he was feeling unusually playful.

"The car isn't moving, Myx. And, there is very little wind--so you're safe there."

"Tell the story about Kris, Wendy, and the pizza," Myx said.

"Oh, no ... I'm sure our blog followers wouldn't want to hear about that."

"Maybe you're right, and--"

"One summer day, when my daughter Kris was a baby, Wendy, my former wife, took her along to pick up a pizza. She got the pizza, strapped Kris back in her carseat and started for home. At the first stoplight, a guy pulls up next to her and yells, 'You just bought a pizza!' Wendy was thinking, 'What's this guy--psychic?' Then the guy added, 'And--it's on the roof!'"

"Speaking of roof...." Myx said.

Miracle Myx

Miracle Myx Wish List

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"Not being able to drive sucks."

I'd heard Myx's complaint before. In fact, it's even in the book.

"This is almost as good," I said, knowing it wasn't close to being any good at all.

"It would have been more fun if a security guard had come along when you were crawling under the barricade tape and kicked your ass," Myx said.

"I don't think that tape was set up for people like us!" A little self-delusion isn't all bad, especially when too much forethought would probably make me shy away from taking Myx's pic in a lot of places. "What's the old saying I always tell you?"

"Just because a woman looks clean, she--"

"No, not that saying ... the other one," I interrupted.

"It's easier to beg for forgivenesss than ask for permission?"

"Yep!" Myx actually lived by that concept. "How did it feel being that close to a Lamborghini?"

"Not being able to drive sucks."

Miracle Myx

Miracle Myx Eats Healthy

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"You ate that?"

"It was tasty," I said.

"Did you have to order the bacon and cheese on it?"

"Well--I have to admit I didn't read the menu that closely. It said something like "Jack Daniels" burger and I went with it," I said. "It came with a mini-vat of black stuff that I had to decide whether to pour over the bun or just dip." I just dipped.

"What's your blood flow like--refrigerated honey?" Myx was just picking on me, and engaging him on this subject would only lead to a long harangue.

"Some consider me rather fit." Damn! Myx got me to bite.

"You know what you should--"

"Myx, do you know why I took this pic?" I'd derail him with his favorite subject: HIM!

"Evidence so the Medical Examiner can corroborate his verdict of heart disease?"

"Errr ... no." This wasn't going exactly like I predicted. "I took it because you whined yesterday about not being visible in the photo. Look at you here--all colorful and everything!"

"I can't believe you ate that."

Miracle Myx

Miracle Myx Gets Bagged

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"What's the purpose of these photos and this blog?" Sounded like Myx was going to make a point.

"My purpose? To bring a smile while showing you off in a variety of locations." I kind of liked my explanation.

"The showing off part was what I wanted to hear," Myx said. "Then, why would you take a photo that has me hidden in shadows?"

"Well, I had to make a decision: either choose an exposure that would illuminate you and wash out the handbag, or keep you in the dark and show the display better. I did put in that arrow for you."

"You could have taken two pictures and stitched the good parts of each together."

"That would have taken ... work," I said. Myx knew I was a minimalist when it came to effort. "Anyway, you know why I took this pic, right?"

"Yeah," Myx said, "Louis Vuitton--the suitcase in the book--it plays a big part in our story."

Hey! Myx said "our story." Usually he didn't give me any credit for writing it.

"Actually, you look sort of noire in the dark there. I like it."

Myx exaggerated logic with: "Next time take a pic so dark that I won't have to come along."

Miracle Myx

Miracle Myx Gets Caned

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"You definitely want me to fall again." Myx sounded sure.

"Again?"

"Yeah, like in the phone booth. I went to the floor like a lead ball."

"That was unfortunate." I wanted to build back Myx's confidence while he balanced on the newspaper sticks. I didn't need another slip to damage his tender cover. "I learned from my mistake and am sure you'll do fine here."

We were visiting the Framingham Library, filled as usual with questing patrons and helpful staff.

"Yanno, if you shuck the newspaper off one of these things, it would make an evil weapon," Myx said. "A whack across the ass would--"

"I'm sure that's never happened," I said.

"You don't think some stern librarian has ever disciplined a naughty patron with a couple of good swings with one of these babies?"

"What?"

"Nothing." Myx sighed ... and balanced.

Miracle Myx

Miracle Myx Gets Benched

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"You washed me out," Myx said.

"I have to admit, this wasn't one of my best shots. I didn't account for the effect of the flash. It didn't 'reflect' well on you!" I was proud of my bon mot.

"Hey, that was funny, Dave--the first 100 times it was said, anyway."

This was at the Solomon Pond Mall. More holiday shoppers looked to see what was going on when the flash lit up the area. I just waved.

"You make me look lonely ... like I don't have a friend in the world," Myx said. He was pouting.

"You don't have many friends--yet!" I 'd lay on some of that ol' Diotalevi charm and cheer him right up. "As soon as you're published, you'll never be alone again."

"And how long is that?"

"Just a few more months. Until then, you've always got me!" I said.

"Oy!" was all Myx could manage.


Miracle Myx

Miracle Myx Goes Hungry

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"Quite a haul of goodies!" I said.

I had just received a holiday package from my friend, Janee (Photoshop Goddess of myjanee.com).

"Are you teasing me by making me look into the box?"

"I placed you there so you could be part of the celebration and contribute to the joy of giving thanks." What the heck, I was in a good mood and laying it on thick for Myx's sake.

"You know a book can't eat, right?" Myx sometimes doubted my rationality out loud.

"Of course I know that. And, yes--I am teasing. You deserve it."

"And you deserve to pack on a few pounds of fat if you eat all this," said Myx.

"I'll share, so don't worry; I'll stay the trim example of male fitness you see before you."

Myx took my cue. "This is where I play along, I guess. Yeah, Dave ... you look great!"

"Don't be jealous of my gift. Besides, a book is a different kind of food: food for thought. I read all the time."

"Food for thought?" Myx was preparing some counter move, I could tell. "You know what they call someone who gets too much food for thought?"

"What?"

"A fathead!"

Miracle Myx

Miracle Myx Looks Flushed

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"What kind of G-forces?" Myx asked?

"What?" I astutely replied.

"What kind of pressure does someone's butt have to exert on a toilet seat to snap off the tip of it like that? What kind of pain, tension, or strain would cause enough squirming or writhing to tear off a chunk of plastic that big?"

The sight had filled Myx with questions, and I had to admit, it did make one wonder about the possibilities.

"I don't think the damage came from sitting on it," I said. "Nobody's butt is that strong. Although, I knew a girl--"

"I could have fallen in the bowl, yanno." Myx didn't seem to be interested in my reminiscences.

"You were perfectly balanced there. And besides, I know how to dry a book out," I said.

One Christmas I had gotten a book about the mystic, Gurdjieff. While still wrapped and under the tree, an unfortunate accident had happened. Kids tipped the tree over, and this was a real one. Mr. Gurdieff drank up the water that spilled from the tree stand.

The book swelled to three times its thickness, and squashing and microwaving got it dried out and down to two times its original thickness. It was never much fun to read in that state. I determined that microwaving a book was a bad idea.

"I know how to perfectly restore a wet book," I said.

"How?" Myx asked.

"Microwaving!" Lying, sometimes is a good idea.


Miracle Myx

Miracle Myx Uncovered

"I think I fit in perfectly," said Myx.

"Don't you feel a little overwhelmed?

We were still at the Natick Collection--this time in front of a huge photo on a storefront. It was announcing the "coming soon" of a Gilly Hicks.

"I only feel out of place because I'm not in my underwear. Other than that, I think I'm every bit as attractive as my posse here," said Myx.

"That photo's your posse?"

Myx ignored me and continued on his own path of logic. "Take my dust jacket off and re-shoot the photo!"

"If I take your dust jacket off, you'll be anonymous, and I'll have to rename this blog to 'Where's Whoever-that-is?'"

I don't know if my reasoning got through to Myx, or he was just giving me the silent treatment--but he shut up.

I thought I'd voice one last argument:

"Besides, if I stripped off your dust jacket, you wouldn't be in your underwear--you'd be naked!"

Miracle Myx--34% Pre-pub Discount

Miracle Myx Gets Religion

It was the last day of Hanukkah and we were visiting the Natick Collection.

"You took this photo pretty fast," Myx said.

"I would say I was respectfully efficient." There were crowds of people streaming by us, and as usual, giving more than a casual glance at the sight of a guy taking pics of a book.

The good part for me is that if they ask what I'm doing, it gives me a chance to talk about the book and tell them to buy it in the spring when it's published. The bad part for them is that either their eyes start glazing over or are filled with that "lemme outta here" look.

"This reminds me of the scene with Myron in the book," said Myx. "He was the best tattoo artist in Miracle, Massachusetts."

"He was the only tattoo artist," I added.

Myron, a.k.a. "Dragon," played a small but pivotal role in the mystery--and also highlighted an important religious conflict.

"Part of me follows a Jewish custom," Myx said.

His voice had that baiting sound to it. He wanted me to play along, and I debated whether to do it. I lost the debate.

"What part?"


Miracle Myx

Miracle Myx Calls Out

"Did you see how grimy that mouthpiece was?" Myx asked.

"I told you not to touch it, didn't I?"

This was after a mishap that had already happened when I was setting up this photo. When I saw this claustrophobic phone niche, I thought it would make a good shot. It had the added value of not grabbing loads of puzzled looks that my more public "renderings" usually attract.

But, when I first set Miracle Myx on the phone book there, it felt a bit unstable--so I hovered my hands over it for about 10 seconds. Myx stayed fine.

What usually happens when you finally back away? Right ... the book dove to the floor, doing one 360-degree revolution in the process.

Myx wasn't amused, and I won't repeat what he said to me.

"Anyone you want to call while you're in there?" I tried to use my "playful" voice to get Myx back into the spirit of our outing.

"Yeah, how about The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Books."

Miracle Myx Going Up!

"I could have ended up on any floor!"

"You could see that guy was holding the door for us. You weren't going anywhere," I assured my book, Miracle Myx.

We were in a Worcester, MA hospital for a routine checkup, and had to take an elevator. Our fellow passenger did think it a little odd when I plopped Myx down in the center of the 'vator and ran back out while imploring "Hold the door!" before I took this pic.

"What if he wanted me for himself and let the door shut, then took me to another floor and made off with me and then took me home and read me and liked me so much he told all his friends and then they went out an got copies too?" Myx asked in a rushed, excited voice.

"Now you're sweet-talkin' me," I replied.

"Yeah, Dave, you looked like you needed some positive BS!"

Miracle Myx Goes All Frosty On Us

"It's nice to be inside," said Myx.

We were at the sumptuous digs of the Stella Dieci Mini Spa. It did feel good to be inside. The temperature hadn't climbed above 23 degrees for almost a week.

"The last couple of days, you had me freezin' my ass off out there," Myx continued.

"A book has an ass?" I said.

"A book has a spine, which is more than I can say for--"

"What did you think of Frosty?" I thought that was a good place to interrupt Miracle Myx.

"He's tall. I can say that for him. I don't appreciate being towered over, yanno."

"You're making new friends--that's all that counts." I tried to sound positive and convince Myx this book tour was a good thing. "What did Frosty say to you?"

"Dave, the doll's an inanimate object--it doesn't talk."

I couldn't tell if Myx's tone was concern or disdain.

Here I was talking to a book, so all I could come up with was, "Errr ... right."

Miracle Myx Storms Barnes & Noble

"You left me."

"I didn't leave you; I was just across the street," I said.

Although it was still several months until the publication of MIRACLE MYX, I thought it would be good for my book to visit Barnes & Noble to get a feel for the atmosphere and traffic of potential readers. I set Myx down and then prepared to get the shot.

"Did you see the looks those people were giving me as they came out or went into the store? It was embarrassing," said Myx.

"Yeah ... I mean, I didn't notice," I said. It was a little funny how people were surprised by a lone book perched open on the sidewalk there. A few went over to pick it up and I had to "politely" shoo them off with "Hey--I'm taking a picture here--get outta my shot." Well--that's what I wanted to say, anyway.

I really just yelled a pleasant "Hello" and held up my camera. They got the message.

"I thought you were going to leave me there."

"I wouldn't do that--you're my only copy!" I said.

Miracle Myx Gets Out

It shouldn't be just sitting, not all the time. But, there was MIRACLE MYX on the shelf on this beautiful, crisp December day.

"We're going out," I said.

"What?" The book seemed almost annoyed.

"I'm tired of your immobility. From now on, you're coming with me and we're going places--places we'll show here on our new "Where's Myx?" blog. Every day we'll post another shot of you in action. It'll be fun.

"Fun for whom?"

Although Myx's voice is only in my mind--I could hear it whining.

"Fun for you, me, and anyone looking in who enjoys incredible feats of daring." Of course I exaggerated to try and pump some enthusiasm between those stiff covers.

I grabbed Myx and off we went. Here's our first pic.