Miracle Myx Makes Cutting Remarks

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"I'm sure these were once considered sharp," I said.

"The people who used them were skilled craftsmen, Dave."

"And?" Now why would I say that in that way to Myx. It was sure to open some mental floodgate that I didn't want to listen to.

"Glad you asked," Myx said.

Told you!

Myx continued without a pause or a look to see if I was listening or rolling my eyes: "A craftsman has to be sure of his tools. I'm using the masculine here because in the days these were used, it was all about the man and women had their own crafts, none of which involved what I'm sitting over here."

"You're getting to some point?--get it? point! sharp! get it??" I was pleased at my own wit. OK--so I'm easily amused.

"The men who used these honed them to a razor edge, and often. Sharper than your Ginsu."

"Quit looking at my Ginsu, Myx--you know how shy I am!" Easily amused!

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Miracle Myx Remembers

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"You can hardly tell," Myx said.

"Tell?" I always try to sound smart by echoing something I don't get. Does it work? Almost never, but I never said I learn from my mistakes.

"That this withered thing is an elephant. A joyous one by the looks of it."

"Symbol of what?" I asked. My voice had a hint of joy of its own since I thought this would get us onto the subject I intended.

"The GOP? You're not gonna make this a political statement, are you, Dave?"

"If I knew enough about either party I would ... I mean ... no!"

"Then, reading your transparent motives and feeble associative powers, I'd say you want me to talk about the cliché 'memory like an elephant.'"

"I have powers?" I raised my eyebrows and smiled when I asked that!

Myx ignored me and went on to explain: "Because of my synesthesia, I have a perfect memory, everything crystal clear."

"Can you remember all my other powers?"

"The crystal has gone dark!" Myx said.
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Miracle Myx Bens The Truth

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"You were born near here, Myx," I said.

"Born?"

"Sounded good, but no. The seminal idea for your character was caused by a book I bought near here."

"You're not going to tell the story of--"

"I was drawn to a strange title at Ephraim's bookstore here in Worcester. Ephraim's was a used bookstore with piles of books everywhere--its inventory was bought out by Ben Franklin. A thin book with the title MIND OF A MNEMONIST drew my attention back then, more than 20 years ago," I said.

"By Dr. Luria and it was about--"

"A Russian man with a perfect memory because of synesthesia."

"Just like me," Myx said.

"You're Russian?" I asked.

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Miracle Myx Meditates

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"Spirituality," I said, as if that explained it all.

"Yeah, I thought you'd use that as a theme here," Myx said.

"Well, it does seem natural with you sitting atop such an iconic figure."

"Atop? Who are you trying to impress?"

"Certainly not you! Let's not argue in front of the D-E-I-T-Y," I spelled.

"Not a deity--and, do you think Gods can't spell?"

"Never know," I said. "Sometimes you want to shield your thoughts from the powers that be."

"For you, Dave, that's called prayer."

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Miracle Myx Drums Up Business

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"Please tell me you're not going to beat that thing," Myx said.

"I wish I had a nickel for every time--"

"Yeah, yeah--didn't see that coming!

"An upcoming review says I have an adolescent sense of humor," I said. As you can see I'm very forthcoming.

"Maybe they overestimate you, Dave. But, I say funny is funny, no matter what the context."

"You trying to sound smart with that last statement?"

"Long way between sounding and being, is it? Luckily I can do both with ease and aplomb. Now that was for sounding smart," Myx said."

"This reminds me of my favorite turkey part," I said. I thought I'd distract Myx from one of his imminent egotistical discourses.

"The neck?" Myx said in an almost bored voice.

"No--the drumstick! Get it, the--"

"Adolescent," Myx said.

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Miracle Myx Gets Scooped

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"Hold still, Myx!"

"Where would I be going?"

"I just don't want anything to ruin this great shot," I said.

"This is a great shot?" Myx asked with that tone in his voice.

"Sounded good for a moment," I said.

"Look at the rust on this thing. I wonder when it was last used?"

"Happens whenever things are abandoned, forgotten, or broken," I said.

"Dave, you used to be much wiser--and funnier!" Myx said.

"Maybe I'm just a bit rusty!"

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Miracle Myx Cycles Through

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"Makes going out for a little ride around the neighborhood seem trivial, doesn't it?"

"Hmmm?" I said with my usual razor-sharp insight.

"Major Taylor--he overcame so much to become a world champion," Myx said.

"The second black champion of any sport, after the fighter, George Dixon," I said.

"Huh? you can't steal my lines, Dave!"

"I can if I'm writing them, Myx! Why should you appear to be the smart one all the time?"

"Probably because I am the smart one, the one with the perfect memory, the one with the synesthetic mind."

Myx was getting into this.

"And what about my memory, about how I remember to put a spotlight on you and let you take center stage, and allow your antics?"

"I forgot about that," Myx said.

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Miracle Myx Rounds Off

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"Ya really think the arrow is necessary?"

"Myx, it's not only for pointing," I said.

"You're not going to attach some sort of analogous or symbolic meaning to it, are you?"

"I'm not?"

"Here we go," Myx said.

"Complementary," I enjoined. (See how I used "enjoined" here to look smart even though it's awkward!)

"Hmmm?"

"I'm complementing the pointed arrow shape of the Irish Round Tower," I said.

"The only one in Massachusetts, right?" Myx asked even though he knew.

"The only one in the USA, I believe, Myx." I know how to play along.

"If we're done, Dave, point the way out of here."

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Miracle Myx Gets Prayed

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"PATER NOSTER, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum," Myx said in a booming voice.

"Let me guess: Latin?" My five years as an altar boy weren't wasted, you see; I could still recognize the language anyway.

"The Our Father, Dave."

"And are your prayers floating up to ... what do we call it in MIRACLE MYX?"

"The glow room," Myx said. "I like when you says 'we' even though you wrote it."

"I know how you want to be included in anything substantial."

"And you call this substantial?" Myx almost laughed the question out.

"Close as we get, isn't it?"

Instead of answering, Myx decided to call out one more prayer, the Hail Mary:

"AVE MARIA, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Iesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae."

"Amen," I said.

"Amens ... Myx Amens," Myx replied.

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Miracle Myx Takes Shape

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"This is kinda strange," Myx said.

"Strange for everyday people, or strange for us?" I asked

"Strange for everyday people. Our readers don't know what we don't show them. That's some really weird stuff."

"It's topiary, Myx."

"Duh! From the Latin topiarius--"

"Uh-oh, here we go," I said.

Myx didn't seem to mind my interruption. He got used to them, and now even anticipated them and played off of my verbal insertions.

"--which means creator of places. Art is made from plants such as arborvitae, bay laurel, holly, yew--"

"Yew done yet? Get it, Myx--yew!"

Myx ignored my brilliant wit.

"--myrtle, and privet. Dave, I wish you had a voice like our friend here--the giraffe."

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Miracle Myx Blooms

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"Summer is wonderful," Myx said.

"These flowers got you in a good mood?"

"Why not? Better than the ice and cold you put me through last winter, Dave"

"Each season has it's own beauty, Myx."

"If I recall, you had a coat on when we went out."

"Myx, we're not here on this beautiful day to argue. This is a celebration of the wonder and awe we should feel when witnessing nature," I said.

"I appreciate nature, Dave. I just wanted to point out that one fact."

"What fact?"

"That, in the cold, you had a coat on and I had nothing," Myx said.

"Not true," I countered. Let's see if Myx would bite!

"Huh?" Myx said.

Close enough.

"Myx, I had a coat, but you had a book jacket!"

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Miracle Myx Crawls Ahead

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We were in Worcester--at the common. Myx was sure the fountain, which was dry, was going to erupt at amy moment and deluge him.

"Let's just hurry up," Myx said.

"Myx, there's dirt, dust, and debris there. No water for a long time--get it?"

"Getting it is just what I afraid of. Getting wet."

"I should have put you on that turtle's back, " I said. "Then there'd be no chance of a hosing."

"That reminds me: What did the snail riding on the turtle's back say?"

Every once in a while, Myx likes to tell a joke. Who am I to not play along?

"What?" I said to be the straight man--not that I'm not a straight man all the time anyway!

"Wheeeee!" Myx said.

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Miracle Myx Busts Out

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"That's the father of our country, Myx!"

"George Washington--a great man," Myx agreed.

"In MIRACLE MYX, you have an encounter with another great man," I said.

"You're meaning JC?"

"Errr--if by Julius Caesar, you mean JC--then, yes!"

Myx seemed to warm to this subject and began: "He was there sitting on the desk, a bust not as big as this one, but it did have a lot of weight to it."

"And you respected it and left it right there?" Hey--so I'm leading the witness; that's what I do!

"Let's just say Julius helps me out by leading the way," Myx said. "Readers will have to find out how I follow him."

"You have some gall, Myx!" I didn't like the look Myx gave me because of my pun--I think he wanted it for himself.

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Miracle Myx Spins

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"What goes up must come down spinning wheel got to go round."

"Why didn't I see this coming, Myx?"

"You got no money, and you, you got no home--Spinning wheel all alone."

"You can't just sing this whole blog. Not just because you're in front of a spinning wheel," I said.

"Would you mind a reflecting sign--Just let it shine within your mind--And show you the colors that are real."

"You don't expect me to really answer any questions or interact, do you?" Myx gets into a song and doesn't get out until he's ready.

"Someone is waiting just for you--spinning wheel is spinning true."

"True may be a bit of a strong word here, Myx. We should get going; any last words of mimicked wisdom?" I said.

"Drop all your troubles, by the river side--Ride a painted pony--Let the spinning wheel fly."

"Myx, you squeeze out of me all my blood, sweat, and tears," I said--rather proud of my cleverness!

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Miracle Myx Seals The Deal

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"Haven't we done this before, Dave?"

Myx was always ready to point out weaknesses, omissions, and redundancies. Months ago, I had taken a photo of Myx with the Massachusetts state flag. In the blog, we had explained all about the state seal. Myx was just highlighting that fact.

"Just because I pointed out the meaning of the Native American--"

"The Indian drowned me, killed me the second time," Myx stated, maybe a little too quietly.

"Yes, in MIRACLE MYX that does happen. You call Johnny Bearcloud 'the Indian' all through the book," I said.

"Maybe I've got a right to. Maybe--"

"Myx, where is this all coming from? Where's the light and breezy banter that we're famous for?

"Hmmm? You're right, Dave. What's a little drowning between friends." After a short pause, Myx added: "Famous?"

"Sounded good!" I said with my cheery voice.

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Miracle Myx Recycles

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"Don't you dare put me in there, Dave."

"I would never do that, Myx."

"Never?"

"Not unless it would make for a better picture!" I admitted.

"I suppose you have something to say about recycling," Myx said.

"Only that it's a good idea and everybody needs to do what they can."

"I know you, Dave--unfortunately. You have some other use for this symbolism, don't you?"

"Well, I was just going to say that I don't particularly like mysteries that recycle old ideas, motives, plots, and characters. I would never do that!"

"Never?" Myx sang.

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Miracle Myx Is Vane

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"Cocks," Myx said.

"What?" See how expressive I can be when given the right opportunity!

"Also called weather cocks when in the form of a rooster," Myx explained.

"And I suppose you'll explain how a weather vane works, too."

"Other than telling you that the front and back halves have to be of equal weight, but not equal area--NO!"

"Weight so it spins easily and--"

"Area so the vane always points into the wind--the greater area in the back rotates it that way. The directional pointers below let you name the wind."

Myx always sounds a bit smug when giving me some facts. Awww ... why not let him have his fun! But, I couldn't resist adding one fact of my own:

"Airports use weather socks to show the direction and strength of the wind. Socks and cocks, Myx!" Now I felt smug at my own rhyming.

"Sounds like a theme for you next night alone, Dave," Myx said.

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Miracle Myx Bullies

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"And so, my friends, I want you to--"

"Myx, do you have to use that stentorian voice?" I asked.

"Do you even know what that means, Dave?"

"Do I ever use a big word that I haven't recently looked up--because I can't remember them for more than a few days? So, yes, I know what that means."

"Tell everyone about how you made a resolution to read the whole dictionary a couple of pages a day for a whole year until you finished a 750 page volume--and you finished it at the end of November of that year," Myx said.

"I don't think they--"

"And how all it did for you was what?"

I knew Myx only wanted to embarrass me. So, I might as well quickly admit the outcome of my well-intentioned experiment: "The end result was that I still couldn't remember what the uncommon words meant, but it would give me a little shot of joy when I recognized a word in print and say 'Hey! I read that in the dictionary!' Satisfied, Myx?"

"My friends," said Myx in that orator's voice again, "you see before you a man whose dreams exceed his--"

"That really is a bully pulpit, Myx," I said.

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Miracle Myx Takes It for Granite

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"You went for the old joke," Myx said.

"Oldies but goodies!"

"And now, a cliche! How original of you, Dave."

"You talk like originality is a virtue, Myx. My granite title just gets us into this subject--the monolith you're leaning against."

"Yeah, it's pink granite like what was quarried here for many years," Myx said.

"No searching that memory of yours for some obscure facts about granite--maybe not a full blown lecture ... just enough to make me dozy?" For some reason, I was actually enjoying this battle of wits with Myx. Unfortunately, most battles ended up with an embarrassing finish for me.

"The only rocks I'll mention, then, are the ones in your head!"

"How original," I said.

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Miracle Myx Gets The Gate

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"You're giving a false impression," Myx said.

"By taking this picture?"

"By the subject of today's blog. Getting the gate means something dismissive."

I thought about it for a moment, not too long because I never think too much about criticism--call that my superpower, or my fatal flaw.

"Be careful, Myx; you might give the impression that I'm striving for reality."

"Reality is never something that's very close to the surface of our little talks, Dave."

"Right! I mean ... huh?"

"Just take the photo before I fall off here."

"You're rushing me, Myx."

"Dave, I'm just giving you the gate!"

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