Miracle Myx Makes Cutting Remarks

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"I'm sure these were once considered sharp," I said.

"The people who used them were skilled craftsmen, Dave."

"And?" Now why would I say that in that way to Myx. It was sure to open some mental floodgate that I didn't want to listen to.

"Glad you asked," Myx said.

Told you!

Myx continued without a pause or a look to see if I was listening or rolling my eyes: "A craftsman has to be sure of his tools. I'm using the masculine here because in the days these were used, it was all about the man and women had their own crafts, none of which involved what I'm sitting over here."

"You're getting to some point?--get it? point! sharp! get it??" I was pleased at my own wit. OK--so I'm easily amused.

"The men who used these honed them to a razor edge, and often. Sharper than your Ginsu."

"Quit looking at my Ginsu, Myx--you know how shy I am!" Easily amused!

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Miracle Myx Bens The Truth

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"You were born near here, Myx," I said.

"Born?"

"Sounded good, but no. The seminal idea for your character was caused by a book I bought near here."

"You're not going to tell the story of--"

"I was drawn to a strange title at Ephraim's bookstore here in Worcester. Ephraim's was a used bookstore with piles of books everywhere--its inventory was bought out by Ben Franklin. A thin book with the title MIND OF A MNEMONIST drew my attention back then, more than 20 years ago," I said.

"By Dr. Luria and it was about--"

"A Russian man with a perfect memory because of synesthesia."

"Just like me," Myx said.

"You're Russian?" I asked.

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Miracle Myx Crawls Ahead

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We were in Worcester--at the common. Myx was sure the fountain, which was dry, was going to erupt at amy moment and deluge him.

"Let's just hurry up," Myx said.

"Myx, there's dirt, dust, and debris there. No water for a long time--get it?"

"Getting it is just what I afraid of. Getting wet."

"I should have put you on that turtle's back, " I said. "Then there'd be no chance of a hosing."

"That reminds me: What did the snail riding on the turtle's back say?"

Every once in a while, Myx likes to tell a joke. Who am I to not play along?

"What?" I said to be the straight man--not that I'm not a straight man all the time anyway!

"Wheeeee!" Myx said.

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Miracle Myx Recycles

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"Don't you dare put me in there, Dave."

"I would never do that, Myx."

"Never?"

"Not unless it would make for a better picture!" I admitted.

"I suppose you have something to say about recycling," Myx said.

"Only that it's a good idea and everybody needs to do what they can."

"I know you, Dave--unfortunately. You have some other use for this symbolism, don't you?"

"Well, I was just going to say that I don't particularly like mysteries that recycle old ideas, motives, plots, and characters. I would never do that!"

"Never?" Myx sang.

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Miracle Myx Bullies

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"And so, my friends, I want you to--"

"Myx, do you have to use that stentorian voice?" I asked.

"Do you even know what that means, Dave?"

"Do I ever use a big word that I haven't recently looked up--because I can't remember them for more than a few days? So, yes, I know what that means."

"Tell everyone about how you made a resolution to read the whole dictionary a couple of pages a day for a whole year until you finished a 750 page volume--and you finished it at the end of November of that year," Myx said.

"I don't think they--"

"And how all it did for you was what?"

I knew Myx only wanted to embarrass me. So, I might as well quickly admit the outcome of my well-intentioned experiment: "The end result was that I still couldn't remember what the uncommon words meant, but it would give me a little shot of joy when I recognized a word in print and say 'Hey! I read that in the dictionary!' Satisfied, Myx?"

"My friends," said Myx in that orator's voice again, "you see before you a man whose dreams exceed his--"

"That really is a bully pulpit, Myx," I said.

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Miracle Myx Gets Parked

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"Hurry!"

"Myx, I very gently set you down there," I said.

"Hurry!"

We were in a municipal parking lot in Worcester. A beautiful day, and what I thought was a unique and interesting shot.

"This has some real art in it--yanno how you're hanging there and how time seems to hang when things are in suspension." I didn't know what I was talking about, but sometimes if I blabbered a little, it took Myx's mind off of the situation he was complaining about.

"Hurry!"

Myx's voice had that hold-your-breath hoarseness that only comes when you're in pain or afraid that pain was just one short false move away.

"We're just about there, Myx. This reminds me of the day I--"

"Hurry!"

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Miracle Myx Hits A High Note

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"Time to trumpet the virtues of MIRACLE MYX!" I said.

"You have no shame, Dave."

"You know me too well, Myx."

"Most people would be at least a little bit subtle in their own praise of their own book," Myx said.

"What happens to most people?"

"They don't write a book, then go on to not have it published, then proceed not to have it read."

"What part are we at?"

"After what I just said, that question makes no sense, but I'll tell you the answer you're looking for: we're trying to get MIRACLE MYX read at this point," Myx said.

"And that's why we're trumpeting why readers will enjoy your character and the weird mystery that surrounds Miracle, Massachusetts in the book."

"Cornetting," Myx said.

"What?" I eloquently asked.

"That's a cornet, not a trumpet--so we're cornetting all my good qualities!"

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Miracle Myx Fixes It

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"I'm thinking about a number of things--that weren't important yesterday ..."

Myx was singing. I recognized the tune from the 60s.

"Is that what that statue is evoking, Myx? By the way, you got the words wrong it's: 'I'm taking the time for a number of things that weren't important yesterday.'"

"And it really doesn't matter if I'm wrong--I'm right--where I belong--I'm right--where I belong."

"Your mind is wandering, Myx." Hey--I know how to play along!

"I'm fixing a hole where the rain gets in--and stops my mind from wandering--where it will go."

"Was that just a variation of 'wondering' I always wondered," I said. "Guess it just how you use words to paint your meaning." Boy was I cooperating today!

"I'm painting a room in a colorful way--and when my mind is wandering--there I will go," Myx sang ... in a low and thoughtful voice.

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Miracle Myx Remembers

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"I bet you can't name them all," I said.

"It's kinda cute sometimes--you know ... how you try to build some tension to make things interesting," Myx said.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Myx." I used my huffy voice.

"You challenge me to name all the stores in this outdoor mall, and yet--you're the one that describes my memory in MIRACLE MYX. You, better than anyone knows what I can do."

Years ago I had read a book by a psychologist that described how a subject of his perfected an almost-perfect memory for the tiniest details. This person used his synesthesia to weave a complex web of sensations that correlated facts until they were retrievable down to the minutia. I had wondered how a person with this ability would act in a mystery. After I wrote MIRACLE MYX, I wondered no more.

"So you're saying, Myx, that you can name the stores easily?"

"Name the store--and every item and price in any store you dragged your sorry ass into today," Myx said.

"Sorry?"

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Miracle Myx Focuses

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"I'm talking about the laser treatment, Myx," I said.

"You're anticipating again," Myx replied.

"Smart of me, don't you think?"

"Do you really think I'm so vain that even your vague title of this entry about focusing would lead me to talking about myself?"

"After an overlong sentence like that, I know you're holding back--go ahead and get it over with, Myx."

"Well--I am rather focused. I mean, my thinking is unusually clear, don't you think?"

"That's twice you've used 'don't you think' in a short space--that's bad writing," I said.

"And whose fault is that, Dave? Who puts words literally into my mouth? Hey! Literally--get it?"

Myx seemed pleased with his effort.

"This isn't the time for finger pointing. We didn't even get a chance to talk about laser removal of tattoos, and how tattoos are clues in MIRACLE MYX and what an important part of the book they are," I said.

"Focus, Dave--focus!" Myx said.

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Miracle Myx Goes Dry

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"I could fall on those rocks there," Myx said.

"You could," I agreed.

"And ...?"

"And you probably won't, Myx."

"What if I get wet?"

"Do you see any water at all down there. It's perfectly dry," I said.

"You throw perfection around pretty cavalierly," Myx said.

"And you have to stop chattering away--or I just might not venture over those jagged rocks again to retrieve you. Understand?"

"Perfectly," Myx said.

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Miracle Myx At A Distance

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"How's everything, Myx?"

"What?"

"Are you going to pretend not to hear me?" I asked.

"What?"

Sometimes Myx played this particular game. If I got too far away from him, he would point it out in some fashion.

"I like this shot, so you just sit there and look pretty," I said.

"Oh, you think I'm pretty? That says something that I don't want to think about too much," Myx said.

"SO--you can hear me!" I yelled.

"What?"

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Miracle Myx Cyles Through

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"This seat is uncomfortable," Myx said.

"As opposed to a cactus?"

"Hmmm. Maybe I can rethink this."

We were at the side of a local bike/walking path. This "art" piece had recently been installed. I, like you probably, have no idea what effect the officials in charge are going for.

"Nice color, don't you think, Myx?"

"You're baiting me, Dave."

"I didn't put one bicycle in MIRACLE MYX," I said.

"Not that I couldn't ride one if given the chance. How do I look up here?"

"Uncomfortable," I said.

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Miracle Myx Pieces It Together

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"You're not gonna ...?"

"Gonna what?" Myx asked.

"Give a lecture on Johnny Appleseed."

"Why did you choose this if not for that?"

"I was thinking more of the jigsaw quote there," I said.

"Because of the important role my puzzle-solving abilities serve in MIRACLE MYX?"

"Yeah. Are you only going to ask questions today?"

"Would that annoy you?"

"Myx, for someone who can sense emotions in a dozen ways, that's an inane question."

"A dozen?"

"Well--now I'm beginning to wonder," I said. Questioning Myx's abilities would get him out of that stupid interrogation mode.

"Did I plant a seed of doubt?" Myx asked.

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Miracle Myx Objects

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"What the hell are we doing here? And--who's she?"

"Myx, that's Jane of Karen Harrington's JANEOLOGY," I said as if that was going to be the end of it.

"And--the 'here' part of my question?"

"What's JANEOLOGY sound like?"

"Genealogy ... awww ... noooo!"

"Yep--you're in the--"

"Family tree! Is this that legal thriller you've been spouting about?"

"Yeah. It's about a mother--"

"I object, Your Honor!" Myx declared.

"Myx, this is a good book," I said.

"Hearsay, Your Honor!"

"You're not going to keep saying courtroom lawyer phrases, are--"

"The Counsel is leading the witness, Your Honor! And, Dave: why did you leave a sinkful of water at home?" Myx actually sounded curious.

"I didn't leave any water," I said, puzzled.

"If you didn't, and I didn't--"

"Uh-oh," we both said.

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Miracle Myx To The Rescue

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"Ride, Myx, ride!"

"You have no shame, do you, Dave?"

"What be this strange word, 'shame', stranger?"

"I shoulda known. Well--let's get this done."

"I don't see what you're complaining about. You're safe. You're the center of attention. You're in charge. You're ... c'mon, Myx ... this is cute."

"Oh good! Cute is just what I'm shooting for. I think of myself as ... hmmmm .... dashing and daring!"

"Myx, you been watching old Erol Flynn movies again?"

"Did you see him swing on those vines in Sherwood Forest? ... I mean ... NO!"

"Just drive that steamer like you're gonna save some heroine," I said.

"On Dashing, on Daring!" Myx called.

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Miracle Myx Barrels Ahead

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"Careful," Myx said.

"You noticed how gently I leaned you in there," I said.

"Don't you think we've just about done the cactus thing to death, Dave?"

"If I were in contact with it, yes. As long as you're volunteering to--"

"When do I ever volunteer for your wacky pictures?"

"Would it kill you to play along once in a while?" I guess this is the kind of question I don't expect to be answered.

"You're thinking that that's a rhetorical question, aren't you?"

"No," I said. Hey, it's still not a crime to lie to a book in Arizona! "I'm thinking this thing has pretty flowers."

"This is a barrel cactus. Native Americans boiled young flowers to eat like cabbage and boiled the older ones for a drink. This is also known as a candy barrel cactus because they used to make candy out of its flesh."

Because of his brilliant synesthetic eidetic memory, Myx had an encyclopedic knowledge of--

"You're thinking how smart I am," Myx said.

"No I'm not," I replied.

Still not a crime!

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Miracle Myx Backs Up

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"You're gonna get hit," Myx said.

"Nonsense."

Although that sounded good, and I blurted it out without any thought to why Myx would give me any warning--I had to wonder ....

"When you get that camera in your hand, you stop looking at anything other than what's in front of your lens," Myx said.

"This goin' somewhere, or is it a general mutter?"

"I'm just saying that you're out in the middle of the street--not aware of your surroundings."

"That's what I have you for, Myx ... to look out for me, to make sure I'm safe and secure!" I said.

"And why would I do that?" Myx said.

"So you don't become an orphan, left spine out on some lonely shelf or thrown in some abandoned stack somewhere," I said.

"Car comin', Dave!" Myx said cheerily.

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